This year, I decided to make some review of what happened last year, to me.

2019 can be called "The Year I Rode".

In 2018 I did some presentations on Tchelinux, and 2019 started with a "Let's just ride all the way to the border" from my cousin. The result is that, in 2019, I did presentations in 13 of the 15 events Tchelinux promoted. I spoked about Rust 8 times, how people can help open source projects 7 times, stream processing 5 times, Python 4 times (with one I basically took over from another friend that couldn't get to the event) and testing 2 times.

Honestly, I did enjoy the combination of presentations and riding. My psychiatrist mentioned I seemed better after all that (she basically complained that I should get "more in touch with nature" and such, which I guess it could count, if you see the amount of trees there are around the roads). I also got a brand new interest in the presentations, to the point that I'm already studying some new topics for presentations.

I got so into doing technical presentations that in the end of 2019 I applied for the Mozilla Tech Speakers, although the answer will only come in 2020. Fingers crossed.

I also rode all the way from Porto Alegre to Montevideo, which took about 12 hours (24 total, back and forth), just to be there for 3 days for Rust Latam.

Speaking of Rust, this year I added "Rust in POA" as my other Meetup -- I already help organize PyTche and took Rust in POA when it was about to be deactivated. Also, I think this year I finally managed to write some code that actually let the compiler happy -- and I'm still using it! And I still way more personal projects I want to experiment in Rust.

But my coding life wasn't just about Rust. This year I got deep into Java 8 and, honestly, the experience wasn't as bad as I recalled from Java 2. Streams and Optionals are, basically, my everyday tools now. We are in a dysfunctional relationship, but it actually works.

I did some other tech changes: I dropped Evernote and moved everything I had to NextCloud and Joplin. It always bugged me that I kept pushing to "Own your platform", but my heavy content was in a platform I had no control over it. Now I do.

Speaking of "owning your platform", I become way more active on Mastodon. Although it's not running on my own platform (yet), it's open source and I can take my data any time I want -- and move to another place with no issues. You can take your Twitter/Facebook data, but can you put it somewhere else? I don't think so.

I also moved a bunch of stuff to my new domain. So, again, owning my platform.

Out of the tech sphere, I found Synthwave, which basically is consuming all my music listening hours (including when I'm writing this post).

So, good year, right? No so much.

Since the mid of 2018, I'm feeling really burnt out, and although the change of pace is helping, I'm still not feeling 100% productive. I mentioned a lot of personal projects, but I only check them half-hour after lunch; I don't feel like going anywhere near code after the end of my working hours. This is really annoying, 'cause I have a bunch of things I want to automate, but doing any sort of code outside the office feels... painful. This is a complete different picture from 2008 (I know, that was 11 years ago) when I would get to work, code code code, go back home and then code some more. I have strong hopes of getting some vacation and finally "get fixed".

Insomnia is still part of my nights. I'm taking meds now to help me sleep. The only good side of this is that it help me read 32 books this year (you may have seen the reviews in this blog).

2019 was also the year I feared for some friends. There is a strong alt-right movement in the country -- specially after the alt-right candidate was elected -- and I feared mostly for my friends. I also felt guilty for not standing that up as I should: I'm white, male and cis, and I'm pretty sure I won't be a target, and that's why I should be in the front lines, but I'm too much of a coward to do so.

Also, this year I lost two people. The first one was a new friend I made on Rust in POA. He was one of the people that really understood Rust. I still feel kinda guilty about this, 'cause I saw he had some depressing posts on Twitter and it took me way to long to talk to him before it happened.

The second person was my uncle. He was the guy who was only 13 years old than me, did the Santiago de Compostela pilgrimage route about four (or even five) times, was cycling all the time, did marathons. And, suddenly, heart attack. He was the guy I would expect to make fun of my funeral.

But what about 2020?

First, personally, I really really hoping this stupid burn out will go away after vacations, so I can finally fix my own digital life.

Second, I'll keep my presentations. I also hope I get selected for Tech Speaker, only to have more stuff to talk about.

Third, for the fucks sake, I hope I won't lose anyone else, 'cause even after all this time, I still don't know how to handle these loses (I still feel bad when my gramma passed away, and that was 10 years ago).