If you took all the students that felt asleep in class and laid them end to end, they'd be a lot more comfortable. -- "Graffiti in the Big Ten"
"There is no education that is not political. An apolitical education is also political because it is purposely isolating."
"People change and forget to tell each other." -- a marquee at a fucking carpet cleaning store
"Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate."
"Preserve the old, but know the new."
"Distributed Systems people do it loosely coupled."
"Gort, klaatu nikto barada." -- The Day the Earth Stood Still
"Atheism and truth, 2 words 1 meaning."
"Zisla's Law: If you're asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants."
"Working here is like a pregnancy. After nine months you wish you hadn't come."
"If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows." -- Yiddish saying
"When you go out to buy, don't show your silver."
"If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?"
"Freeing the nerds was what got us here"
"Workers of the world, relax!"
"Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter."
The sign of a truly totalitarian culture is that important truths simply lack cognitive meaning.
"Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space."
Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.
"I’m being tracked by so many websites that if I get kidnapped, I expect to be rescued by a team of web developers rather than the police." -- u/jaso151 on Reddit
"Nezvannyi gost'--khuzhe tatarina." [An uninvited guest is worse than the Mongol invasion] -- Russian proverb
"The dynamic I'm subjected to doesn't become less toxic just because I can take it."
"Somehow, the world always affects you more than you affect it."
"I suspect the people responsible are the kinds of men who get MBAs specifically to boss around people who are smarter than they are."
"Talk is cheap because supply always exceeds demand."
"If you had better tools, you could more effectively demonstrate your total incompetence."
"Seeing is believing. You wouldn't have seen it if you hadn't believed it."
"The world is an 8000 mile in diameter spherical pile of shit."
"Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball."
"Blame Saint Andreas -- it's all his fault."
"Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids."
"Morale will continue until the beatings improve."
"Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed."
"All that glitters has a high refractive index."
"Aren't Instagram influencers just Ads in human form?" -- email@example.com
"Don’t say condemn it because it can happen to you one day. Condemn it because it is wrong." -- firstname.lastname@example.org
"He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself."
"To err is human. To blame someone else for your mistakes is even more human."
"Stay together, drag each other down."
"A company is known by the men it keeps."
"The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they do not wish to see anyone else suffer the way they do."
"Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted."
"Words must be weighed, not counted."
"Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness." -- motto of the Christopher Society
"Feminism, n.: A political position which seeks to rebuild society so that both men and women are treated as women wish to be treated."
"A religion without a goddess is half-way to atheism."
'A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"'
"The alternative to cooperation is not competition. It is annihilation."
Ryan's Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.